Depression Diaries by Ishita Ganguly
**When Depression Calls
When depression calls
I want to run but I am unable to.
Panic runs through my spine,
I freeze.
I get up from bed
after a few failed attempts.
I look at the food
that I can’t chew.
I scroll through the phone –
Time is running out
or am I running out of time?
Depression whispers wicked things into my ears,
I shut my eyes
And see myself standing alone
Under a moonless sky.
I sense death trailing me,
This does not disappoint me.
I smile at death –
I want him to find me and finish the game
For once and for all.
**Healing
I can’t cry, no tears left,
I tell that only to cry again.
Spaces in me have frozen,
Parts of me are broken.
I wanted to heal,
I couldn’t.
And now I don’t even try.
When we meet next time,
Don’t worry I’ll not tell you a sad tale of mine.
I promise I’ll smile brightly and say,
‘Oh, I’m fine, as always!’
**A Poem for You and Me
I wrote a poem for you and me.
If you are like me
With a heart full of love
Tired of pouring to empty cups,
This is for you if you are the dreamer
Who died in the dream.
This is for the one
Who pretends to be happy,
This poem is for the boy mocked in class,
For the girl who is desired but never loved.
This is for the one who is tired of giving
And receiving nothing.
This is for the caring who is never cared enough.
Know that people can’t reciprocate you
Because they are unable to.
You are the chosen one
To live in a world full of fakes.
You are special
And you have every reason to celebrate.
Leave who left,
Forget who forgot,
Keep shining
As the jewel you are.
***
Poem name: Depression Diaries
Writer: Ishita Ganguly
About the poem: It is a 3-part poem on depression, the challenges you face while dealing with it, the healing process and how you move on.
About the writer: Ishita is a published author, poet, and freelance writer from India. She is the author of the book, “Stories from the City called Kolkata” and editor of the international poetry anthology, “Expressions from the Heart”. She is the co-author of 5 international anthologies. Her articles and poems have been published on leading websites and in international magazines in English and Bangla. Ishita is a double master’s degree holder, a corporate professional turned educator turned full-time writer. She is a book lover who believes words have immense power and writers can make a huge impact in the world! She desires to leave the world better than she found it through her contributions as a writer and as a responsible global citizen.